Just Let Yourself Out
Change of plans for the droves of you who were headed to Toledo this weekend. It seems in a mix up between booker and club I have been unceremoniously removed from the weekend. If you're looking for a way to create the feeling Toledo would have given you at home, just rent "Faces of Death" or think back to your saddest memory as a child. There you go, now you're feeling it!!
So it seems a dude that William "the refrigerator" Perry would normally have eaten himself beat "the fridge" in a cake eating contest. This 62 year old 135 pound fellow ate a 5lb cake in just over 11 minutes to leave "the fridge" with egg on his face, along with flour, butter, and whatever other shit goes into cake mix.
Those Jesse Popp shows have really had an impact on my life. Allow me to explain. Since the shows took place at an alternative venue where you had to bring your own refreshments I was forced to buy a styrofoam cooler. That thing hasn't left my back seat since. These days when I only eat half a pudding cup, no sweat, I just toss it into the cooler for later. I can grab milk from the store, go take some cuts in the batting cage and still get home with fresh milk! I couldn't use plasma screens in my head rests but a cooler is an amenity I can get behind. Oh sure I have to stop and refill it with ice, but until they create a site where I can sell all my old junk online I can't afford an actual refrigerator (not a call back to William).
I think there must be an intense gravitational pull someplace underneath my toilet. Anything that falls in the bathroom ends up in there. If I drop my toothbrush at the sink two feet away it will change direction mid-flight and end up in the bowl. I always fall toward the toilet when I'm on one foot drying the other after my bi-monthly shower as well. All I'm saying is don't be surprised if your ballz get wet. Ok, I'm ungovernable.
How does a hamster have any idea what it's supposed to do? Those things have been bred in captivity for so long now, where do their instincts come from? The tube that drips water is all they know. Man I am raising some stupid questions today.
So it seems a dude that William "the refrigerator" Perry would normally have eaten himself beat "the fridge" in a cake eating contest. This 62 year old 135 pound fellow ate a 5lb cake in just over 11 minutes to leave "the fridge" with egg on his face, along with flour, butter, and whatever other shit goes into cake mix.
Those Jesse Popp shows have really had an impact on my life. Allow me to explain. Since the shows took place at an alternative venue where you had to bring your own refreshments I was forced to buy a styrofoam cooler. That thing hasn't left my back seat since. These days when I only eat half a pudding cup, no sweat, I just toss it into the cooler for later. I can grab milk from the store, go take some cuts in the batting cage and still get home with fresh milk! I couldn't use plasma screens in my head rests but a cooler is an amenity I can get behind. Oh sure I have to stop and refill it with ice, but until they create a site where I can sell all my old junk online I can't afford an actual refrigerator (not a call back to William).
I think there must be an intense gravitational pull someplace underneath my toilet. Anything that falls in the bathroom ends up in there. If I drop my toothbrush at the sink two feet away it will change direction mid-flight and end up in the bowl. I always fall toward the toilet when I'm on one foot drying the other after my bi-monthly shower as well. All I'm saying is don't be surprised if your ballz get wet. Ok, I'm ungovernable.
How does a hamster have any idea what it's supposed to do? Those things have been bred in captivity for so long now, where do their instincts come from? The tube that drips water is all they know. Man I am raising some stupid questions today.
posted by Vince at 1:12 PM
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