Eternal Optometrist

Before you go OD'ing on an 8 ball of tryptophan and giblet gravy I want to pound into your brain where you need to be, come Saturday night. After the smoke has settled (from the burned rolls) and the wishbone has broken you need to bust ass over to the Ann Arbor Civic Theatre to watch myself and various other funny people perform. It's a sketch show that I'll be opening for at 8 & 10pm. You know you're already going to be in town for the Rogue Wave show that night at the Pig. Quit sucking and get busy ruling.

I don't want anybody smashing the glass to hit the panic button but upon checking the audio devise that I use to record joke ideas today, I had more phone numbers recorded than premises. That'd be fine except that none of the numbers belong to hot chix.

I missed the Earth to America special on TBS last night. They were dubbing it the single funniest night of comedy ever on earth. They of course couldn't say the universe as it's a little known fact that astronaut Michael Collins did a tight 5 for mission control during the Apollo 11 moon landing. So the ads made it look like a bunch of 'A' list actors and comedians would be doing stand-up for this monumental special on the Superstation. There were a few folks on the commercial that caught my attention. People who I was hyped to see do stand up, like Leonardo Dicaprio for instance. He most likely centered his act around his time on Growing Pains, with quips like "even back then Kirk Cameron wanted to show me what he deemed the Way of the Master, which when I knew him involved quarts of Olive Oil and a trip to the emergency room, he said if I told anybody he'd kill Alan Thicke". No doubt Tom Hanks brought down the house with his act that most assuredly dealt with topics like, what if in Cast Away, Peter Scolari had been cast as the voice of Wilson? I'm sure it was a tremendous event and the only loser is the dude who had to towel off Robin Williams when he finished spazzing.