Attention Models!

Quit rubbing your eyes! That's Eddie VH. Let it be a warning to all the musicians who see it. If you forsake greatness for electric drills as guitar slides, and Gary Cherone, the Rock God's will not leave you unpunished. Keep looking like that and you might get burned at the stake!

For years now every time I'm out looking for a book whether it be at the library or store it is always on the bottom shelf. I've even been in an alphabetical by author type situation, looking for an Abbott and they some how tucked that shit about an inch off the floor. I only bring this up because it's become a metaphor for my life. Whether my own fault or not, I've found myself getting bent over lately. In no particular order: An apartment without a stove, mailbox, buzzer, or hot water, a massage where Christian Talk Radio was being played and it ended with a weird 10 minute stomach rub, "high brow" New Yorker's thinking that anything past Pennsylvania is a vast expanse of retards and priests but granting themsleves the right to generalize despite not knowing which state is which. Whoa! This is a loosely related comedy site, can we please....

Lately whenever I'm in a room with a fireplace, a bookshelf, or both I always search the walls for a secret passage. Times have changed but this is the type of room a secret passage is indigenous to. They're out there, and I plan to continue in this manner until I find one.

Ship Righted