Calculi

There are times like this when I begin to type here out of an assumed need. That is, I feel like it's been 'x' amount of days so I need to create something here. While typing for the sake of it has proven disasterous in the past here I am again. The word 'here' has appeared in every sentence so far.

My virtually Fives of fans will be catered to today.



I was reading about a bakery in Kuwait City that was shut down after it was discovered that the dough was being kept in the toilet. The owner explained that the toilets humidity was keeping it moist. Insert "pinching a loaf" joke here. Who knew people in Kuwait City gave a shit (pun intended) about health inspection. I just watched Jarhead over the weekend. It was a good movie that served to reinforce every fear I ever had about military service.

In thinking about how long it's been taking me to find a day job here in NY . I have to believe that the answer to my lack of response lay somewhere in my resume and or cover letter. Since during my last survey of readers it was revealed that many more of you than you would think are career counselors, I will now post a cover letter for everyone to review and let me know if there's anything I could improve upon.

227 Marla Gibbs Ave
Brooklyn, NY 11206

To Whom It May Concern:

I have attached my resume to be considered for the position of ___________ with the company of ___________. I believe you will find that my experience and education make me an ideal candidate for this opportunity.

Your first inclination as the person reading this might be to become intimidated by all my credentials. Trust I am not gunning for your job. At least not initially. I've used a computer and bossed people around. I'm a "as I say" "not as I do" type cat. Real good at pointing. Seriously though, master's degree? You got one? Knowledge is my master! I'm a team player, so much as I'm the coach. Some were born to lead and delegate. Don't let the soft hands fool you when we meet. I've worked, but mostly with my brain. Whatever, when you call me for the interview let's have that happen sometime after 10am as I've fallen into a groove with my sleep.

I thank you for giving me serious consideration for this position. Please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
Vincent Averill

Any thoughts? Too long, not enough specifics on past employment? Is it the grammar?