Realizing you're the Toughest Guy in the Room

For my wealthy friends in the Tri-State area. Come check me out tonight at Stand Up New York as I will be part of an audition for the Just For Laughs Festival in Montreal. I say wealthy because it's like $12 to get in with a Two drink minimum. I make this disclaimer against the data collected during the last demographic study of my readers. I've inferred many more of you are broke than those who are not. Maybe come out and laugh about it?

Went out to Shea Stadium yesterday. Retired people go to baseball games during the day. I love those old "space ship" style stadiums from the 60's-70's. For some reason it seems like there were a lot more in the National League. It was good to finally make it to Shea as during their '86 boom I was pretty into the Met's. Never losing site of course of my most favorite team in the history of people coming together in competition the Detroit Tigers. I'm a bit of a purist as it relates to the ballpark. I'd prefer a return to the organ as opposed to batters coming out to Ini Kamoze. One advancement I can get behind is the addition of variation to the food options. There are those who cannot get their heads around some of the fare now being offered. I enjoy posting up near the sushi stand and watching the heavy weights who rumble by, one hot dog in mouth, one sausage in hand, Two beers pinched between neck and chest, and a nacho balanced on the plateau just behind their heads at the top of their spine. These types lose their shit at the site of the sushi stand every time. They've had to have seen it before but it never gets any easier for them to take.

Now comes the time when I urge everyone to not wait another minute before getting on board with what I've discovered to be Television magic. Those who know me are saying, "but Vince you live in a shit box devoid of cable!" True, but let me finish. There's a little show I've fallen in love with on the rabbit ears called "Geraldo at Large". Geraldo Rivera, maybe the most lovable Douche Bag ever. He's turning into Cesar Romero. I'm pretty sure the name of the show is a wink and a nudge from Geraldo to his "long times" saying, I know I should have been locked up years ago. The show must be viewed if for no other reason than the opening when in his trademark cadence he tells you where he's at large that night. After teasing each of that nights stories, the logo blasts in and here comes that voice..."Tonight we are AT LARGE, in New Jersey, North Carolina, New Orleans, Bismark, and around THE WORLD! My typing does no justice to how amazing it is. If that's not enough his uncomfortable and forced interaction with other humans, but especially reporters in the field will enrich your life. Just go set your TIVO and send me $5 for the tip. Nazi breaking shit over his beak? Al Capone's empty storage unit? Sailing Bermuda with his family? This dude makes fake tanning seem legit.