Golden Krust

If you plan to break up with a lady friend right on a major avenue in New York City, which is so much cooler than some street in whatever the fuck town you live in, where they probably don't even have fancy streets which are called avenues, at least have the presence of mind to take her into the Caribbean joint your breaking up in front of. I mean why make a spectacle out in traffic, when those tears would be much better served if falling onto the counter while you two order up your last supper. If she can't come up for air from that hyperventilation style, bawling, sniffing, coughing to get some jerk chicken, then this relationship is not repairable. They have curry goat, ox tail, she can make no qualm about the choices. No one likes to be told their services are no longer needed, so be a gentlemen and get her ass out of the sun and into some beans and rice. It's textbook, the door was hitting her every time somebody came out.
I was wearing headphones so if this was instead a death in the family, then by all means take her hand and walk her straight to the Mr. Softy truck. Mortality contemplation is best served soft, twisted and on a cone. Probably not advisable to get any toppings since someone has just died and it's fine to sooth your pain, but crunchies or sprinkles would make those tears seem slightly less genuine, like your crying because you think you're supposed to, or you figure there's no way he'll break up with you as long as you're sad about the death of your uncle.