Thursday, October 12, 2006

Electronic Mail

It's not often that I find myself even half tempted to open what is clearly a spam email. This morning however I was using one hand to stop the other from dragging that mouse for the click. When I read the subject line "Have healthier sperm, with SPERMAMAX", my interest was peaked. I didn't open the email out of fear of computer virus, but now wish I had. Ridding myself of the burden that the thought of this email has left on my mind would have been worth the possibility of ruining somebody else's computer. I just wonder how the SPERMAMAX is administered; cream, ointment, injection, pills? Are there a lot of unhealthy sperm out there, in there, on there? Does SPERMAMAX claim to decrease the occurrence of birth defects? Do the makers of SPERMAMAX even recognize the initials F.D.A.? I guess I'm going to have to write my own SPERMAMAX email and send it to myself.....

Hello, Vincent

If you consider yourself the CEO of your body and you're trying to grow your business into "new markets" you can't afford to have your "employees" calling in sick! Too many quotes? Let me explain. It's been brought to our attention (by the dude who created this product and paid for this spam) that there's a ton of unhealthy sperm being housed in the genitals of males throughout this great country. So in wanting to help America ( and play upon a fear of birth defects, since if you know what sperm is, you probably know it's a main ingredient in babies) this individual is now offering his miracle sperm supplement...SPERMAMAX!

Don't hesitate, because you probably have a small dick, and it almost never gets hard when you want it to, so the least you can do is make sure you have top quality sperm available on the rare occasion a female agrees to mate with you and you've been able to score some boner pills from that kid in the mailroom at work.

Act now and receive a bracelet, not unlike the one people where in support of Lance Armstrong (he's full of rotten sperm) except it's more like a rubber band and it says PREPARE TO MAX OUT, or MAXIMUM OVER SPERM, or PREPARE TO SPERMIFY

And then it probably mentions the insane price and need to use the product so many times that you might as well just send you pay check every week, or else your sperm will go ill on you for sure.

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