Roy Harper

Given my recently developed infatuation with Swedish Fish, I headed over to Wikipedia to try and figure out why I am so in love when I normally steer clear of the gummi candies. As best I can tell, it must be due to Swedish Fish being "quasi-gummi." If I can get a confirmation on just what the fuck that means I may begin to seek out other similar confections. Texture is everything when discussing what my mouth enjoys, but there is also a mental component. Thus, I am willing to accept items in the shape of miniature fish, not in the form of a rat or a worm.

Let's be clear.

Any and all audio experts in the realm of podcasting should feel free to contact me via sluggingpercentage at gmail dot com.

I did catch some red carpet coverage but no Oscar's last night. I have to say, that Ryan Seacrest managed to make every interaction he had uncomfortable, and I'm not sure if it should be blamed on the producers or him, but time and again that little tanned skin puppet would bring something up about the person's life or career he was talking to, it was wrong every time.

Seacrest: This is your fourth nomination

Celebrity: No, second

Seacrest: You ate chicken piccata(picatta) everyday on the set of this film, why?

Different Celebrity: I'm vegan

In researching how to spell piccata(picatta) I did find this:

Chicken lollipop is an hors doeuvre that is made from the middle (and sometimes inner) segments of chicken wings. The middle segment has one of the two bones removed, and the flesh on the segments is pushed to one end of the bone. These are then coated in a spicy red batter and deep fried. It is also a popular item in Indian Chinese cuisine, served with Sichuan sauce.

Let's never speak of it again.

Hats off to Alan Arkin for being a complete asshole to Seacrest. Easily the best thing that happened on that carpet. I want the section he was standing on cut out and shipped to me so I can lay it out in my bedroom