Buttered Roll

I heard a guy at the coffee cart this morning with a thick NY accent order an "iced coffee, hazel nut, with two sugars" then after he paused, and it must have hit him, he goes "it's for a girl". Thank God!!! Can't have a big strong man like this guy drinking that fag juice. I mean, have you ever heard of a more sissy drink in your entire life? You drink that sweetened ice coffee, and you must be fixing to penetrate buttocks. For real though, this alpha male with his gut over hang, and his crew cut would have been a dead ringer for a real expert pole smoker had he not clarified who that drink was for. Ugh, I cannot stress enough how awful it would have been for him to walk away from that cart carrying that drink, with everyone snickering at the dude who likes hazel nut and getting tea bagged. He saved himself a world of trouble by remembering to make it clear who in fact would be drinking that iced brew and asking for a bag to hide it in. Don't worry ladies, the coffee he made clear he was ordering for himself was straight up black, no sugar and hot, just like a real, past his never had a prime, Hank Hill looking motherfucker drinks it. Come to think of it, I prefer my coffee hot and black, but I never thought of it as a declaration of being straight. New york has once again proven how superior their intellect is to all those dust croppers in the Midwest.