Practice
Despite my distaste for nearly all children (I said nearly, spare me the email, and I also realize I was a child once, shut up) many people will approach me with parenting questions. It's probably because children being cute is not going to stop me from thinking clearly on the matter. So here's one for free. I was at the zoo over the weekend and was reminded of a basic mistake a lot of you parents are making. If you're gonna do the old gimmick where you feign leaving in order to gain a wanted response from your child, the child needs a point of reference in order for them to give a shit. So if lil' Jimmy's drooling on the glass looking at the porcupines and you want him to come along to the seal cage so you start saying "bye lil' Jimmy, I'm headed to the seal cage, have a nice life", why would Jim care? You need to on at least one occasion have backed yourself up by leaving the kid for dead. You give him one goodbye and you're off to the seal cage. If no weirdo grabs him he'll probably put a good cry on, get scooped up by an zoo keeper and be returned. It's what I call training. Lil' Jimmy's going to come a runnin' the next time you bid him farewell. You might even need to get in the car and go home, show this brat that you're not afraid to involve child protective services in the matter as long as he learns to behave, whether it be for you or his new foster parents.
I found out the starting salary for a NYC Police Officer is $25,000, and I immediately thought of 25,000 jobs I'd rather have for that kind of money. Thank God people are willing to do it, but with the better than average chance of dying at work, that figure skews a bit low in my mind. The dude who drives around and sucks shit out of port-a-potties makes more than 25k and doesn't have anybody wanting to do harm to him and his family on account of what he does at work. I'm pretty sure you can't even live in New York making $25,000. You gotta love getting shot at, and dealing with low lifes all day, only to turn around and have to pull a shift at Target in order to eat.
I found out the starting salary for a NYC Police Officer is $25,000, and I immediately thought of 25,000 jobs I'd rather have for that kind of money. Thank God people are willing to do it, but with the better than average chance of dying at work, that figure skews a bit low in my mind. The dude who drives around and sucks shit out of port-a-potties makes more than 25k and doesn't have anybody wanting to do harm to him and his family on account of what he does at work. I'm pretty sure you can't even live in New York making $25,000. You gotta love getting shot at, and dealing with low lifes all day, only to turn around and have to pull a shift at Target in order to eat.
posted by Vince at 11:58 AM
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