Riffage

I, like most everyone finds it pretty difficult to wake up when being asked by an alarm clock. I currently enlist the services of a "clock radio" to get me up when I would otherwise choose not to do so. Clock radio for whatever reason sounds like an item from the 70's to me. Like if you were moving into your new A-frame one of the boxes might be labeled "Fondue-Clock Radio-Pong". I could be way off on this, but something tells me there have been advancements made in the realm of forced consciousness, but I haven't been down that isle in the K-Mart in a while. It should be noted that I am very happy with my clock radio and that it was given to me by my friend Lee when I came to New York and finally had a reason to wake up.

This morning I had no problem rising directly upon the first sounds from the clock, when normally I will hit the "snooze" bar for up to an hour. Two questions, do I use "quotes" in places they don't belong on here, and why is the snooze time 9 minutes on every alarm clock? Anyway, the reason I was able to pop right up today was the first thing I heard from the radio happened to be, "We're here with Dwayne "Dog the Bounty Hunter" Chapman." At this point if you're asking yourself who the "Dog" is, you may want to either stop pretending to read books and watch a little cable, or at the very least DVR some, and continue to brag to friends "I don't really watch TV." Dog is a complex man who captures fugitives with his team that is comprised of almost entirely family members. He is also a personality who would have been at Autorama back in the day. Autorama is/was the common man's auto show, where instead of having new and future models of cars presented by the manufacturers, and black tie events, it was an auto show that the General Lee would be at, or the limo from Cannon Ball Run where it looked like the Orangutan was driving but it was actually Tony Danza. Along with the cars they would have like Ultimate Warrior, or Mr. Belding signing autographs. So I'm pretty sure Dog would be huge at Autorama.

The interview that ensued was really pretty awful. But there were a few choice questions, like what was Dog's favorite classic rock band? I thought it was wrong of whoever wrote the questions to box Dog in like that. Does the Dog have to be into classic rock? Couldn't that question have been "what are some of your favorite bands?", and left the assumption out? Maybe Dog loves Amy Winehouse, but felt he needed to answer the question that was asked. Actually it probably wouldn't be Winehouse, because if you say no to rehab in front of Dog he's going to have to pepper spray you and zip tie your hands. Ultimately it was revealed he likes Ozzie (which he may have said simply because Ozzie wrote the theme song for his show), and CCR. Dog himself did a stint in a Texas prison on a manslaughter charge (wrongly accused) before he went straight and I can absolutely picture him doing curls in the yard with some Creedence blaring.

I am vehemently against open phone lines or any instance where the public is allowed to ask the guest questions in any forum. I was at an event once where a Q&A took place with the Beastie Boys, and I just remember inquiries like "You wanna drink a beer with me?" and "Next time you play here will you do Egg Man?" And this morning was no different, with a ton of people just wanting to say hello and profess their love. Dog was on the radio this morning promoting his new book "You can run, but you can't Hide", as if any other title could even be considered. They kept teasing that he was doing a book signing tonight without giving the location. I was sitting there thinking, Virgin Megastore, Barnes and Noble at Astor Place, but ultimately learned it's taking place in Ridgewood New Jersey?!?! C'mon! I guess in reality Jersey is one big Autorama. This is the point I almost laid back down and gave up on the day, but the DJ started playing "Panama" by Van Halen, so I did a couple David Lee Roth mimics and hit the shower.

This Sunday is the 1st anniversary of the show I produce with Jesse Popp at the Beauty Bar in NYC. It's going to be a tremendous affair with Andrea Rosen, Mike Dobbins, DJ Hazard, and Becky Garcia. This thing is going to be the ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise.

Beauty Bar NYC
231 E. 32nd st between 2nd and 3rd ave
August 12th, 9pm
FREE