Style

I'd say on average I see a story about somebody getting caught in a chimney once a month. When the person who's stuck is a would be burglar, I find it relatively moronic, but don't dwell on it since we're talking about a criminal, and breaking into houses isn't exactly white collar crime, or even blue collar crime, it's like a henley crime, and I'm not phased by the thought process of the crook. Unfortunately there are way too many cases where the report centers around the person ending up in their chimney when they got locked out, or, and this is my favorite, the person was trying to surprise their significant other. Without trying to speak from some broad scope of knowledge on romance, scaring the shit out of somebody by sliding out of where they keep their fire, covered in soot, has never got anyone laid. Also, if you forget your keys, you have two options, call a locksmith or break a window. Your decision should be based upon which one you think will be cheaper. The abuse of alcohol is not a valid excuse for finding yourself lodged in the exhaust of your home, since if you're sober enough to crawl up on your roof, you're sober enough to look into the opening where the smoke comes out, realize it's a place where animals as small as Raccoons get stuck, climb back down, barf into your planter box, and call for help. Preach it.