No Shirt, all Service

Simply chiseled, and some wonderful doll hair to boot. Somebody give me the number for where they can so expertly glue your mane back on.

I don't bring up Matt for the sole purpose of his bountiful locks, I don't bring him up because dude got sliced in the face preparing for his new film and had to get his money maker stitched up. I bring him up to shine a little light on just what the new film is that he got cut preparing for. I'm just gonna run down the facts and leave it for you, without any further analysis from me.

The Film: "The Grackle" The Story: A fighter-for-hire helps settle disputes for people who can't afford a lawyer.

In other news related to things that sound like 80's TV shows, but somehow are films in 2008...

I am always up for discussing the movie "First Blood". I love that film. I love it for being the first 'R' rated film I saw. I love it for being the first film I saw on VHS. When John J. Rambo loses his shit in that ammunition store at the end, college educated guys who still describe things they don't like as being 'gay' can't even help but cry. That being said, I've had some interest in seeing Stallone's dead horse beating act "Rambo" which comes out in a few weeks. My passing interest in this installment suffered a serious setback the other day when I saw the Ad they're running for the film on TV. It's a montage of violence set to the song "Let the Bodies hit the Floor" by Drowning Pool. It's my own fault for thinking Rambo is anything more than a Monster Truck Rally. Somehow the chords in the song remind me immediately, "Oh, that's right, there's no way this can be good." We're talking about a character who was shit on by a country he served in Vietnam, went to jail after being pushed to the brink by a corrupt Oregon Sheriff, has lived out the rest of his days in the tucked away corners of the world surfacing only when there was a mission nobody else could complete, and now all these years later he's somehow found himself mixed up in another life or death situation, but they're going to set this ultimate drama to music which is best served with a warm side of Football highlights!?!?!?!?! Why not have Joe Buck do the voice over? It's as if Stallone himself walked up to me while I was holding the small flame that was my interest in the film, and not only did he blow out that little fire, he burped it out. Sly, tore off an obnoxious belch and then used the stench in his mouth to kill all my desire.

Haggar Cool 18 pants might be incredible for a round on the links in mid-July, but they are not good for early morning December commutes. Not even the built in elastic expander waist can help you as the whipping winds penetrate every area from your waist down. Having different clothes for different seasons is for rich people.